President Uchtdorf's family fled their home in Zwickau in East Germany to Frankfurtin West Germany. However, it is obvious more needs to be done to answer the questions and concerns of members of all ages. In fact, most of the literature discussing these marriages suggests Joseph had sexual relations with these women, usually without the cuckold husbands knowledge.9. Elder Scott's parents would later serve in the Washington DC Temple for many years, and Elder Scott served as an apostle until he passed away Septemeber 22, 2015. "It is intended that this requirement will help to re-emphasize the significance and sacredness of the temple marriage covenants. One faithful Latter-day Saint wrote of his in-laws learning of Joseph Smiths polyandry, My [Page 63]mother-in-laws eyes bulged out.44 One woman who found out about Smiths polyandrous marriages, combined with other issues regarding Joseph Smith and Mormonism, declared she was done, done and DONE!! A manual focused on the present-day application of doctrine might understandably devote little attention to plural marriage, but complete silence may heighten the sense that we are ashamed and that there is actually something to hide.29, [Page 57]I remember being about 15 or 16 years old and visiting Brigham Youngs Winter Home in St. George. Those divorcing tended to perceive ward members as a group that was unsupportive, fearful, and judgmental. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintss uncomfortable relationship with its polygamous history is somewhat like an awkward marriage separation. Often times in our anxiety to live Gods commandments, we focus on everything we should avoid to remain righteous. In fact, some have left the Church specifically because of this issue. Ponder what kind of support you have been, are, and can be to those you know in the Church who have experienced or are experiencing a divorce. He works as a Mental Health Clinician for Ktunaxa/Kinbasket Child & Family Services, and as needed for LDS Family Services in the East Kootenay's. For the very first time, I am seeing outright no in response to will there be celestial polygamy. Relationships are really difficult. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. During a conversation regarding Mormon history, I mentioned in passing that Joseph Smith had plural wives. They know they are in violation of the law. While steps have been taken to inoculate members, more can be done. No, Divorce currently disqualifies a man from becoming a Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle or Prophet. Then it should be emphasized that we no longer practice plural marriage. On a positive note, the LDS Church has recently taken a more active approach to interpreting and defining its polygamous past. Newell G. Bringhurst, Where Have All of Brigham Youngs Wives Gone? Not surprisingly, many members have believed these unfortunate and mostly false accusations and stereotyping, in no small part because some historians have repeated and embraced them uncritically.8, Joseph Smiths involvement in so-called polyandrous marriages added to the image of him as a man with unbridled lust. [Page 67]Their sacrifice, etc., involving the practice was in vain and for a false principle??? 65. For example, they wanted to focus on home life or to take care of children. Men are less inclined to share their feelings, so they can be less likely to learn from their experience. Death, war, financial insecurity, divorce, Church inactivity, there are many circumstances that can shake a family to its core and try each family member's This may make many more supportive of divorce when it happens outside the Church.. I thought everyone knew that., I replied, They dont all have parents like you do. As with every gospel principle, the foundation needs to be laid in their childhood and then built upon in their youth with more information about the faith and sacrifices practicing plural marriage necessitated among the Saints, as well as the reasons for ending the practice. Polygamy in the Spotlight, e-mail correspondence, July 14, 2011. He served as the last administrator of the Aaronic Priesthood prior to the restoration of the Melchizedek Priesthood when Jesus Christ came. Divorced male members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are now required to obtain permission from the First Presidency before being sealed to a second wife. However, Elder Baxter's family situation was still difficult. He currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader of the Annapolis Maryland Ward. Unfortunately, such an outcome is not the case for Latter-day Saints and their polygamous history. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. That some are now agreeingon message boardsthat polygamy is something that will NOT be present in the post [mortal] world in any form, by any couple? Feelings About Plural Marriage. There was one who chose Native American as an identifier while there were no African-Americans represented. Claire, October 4, 2011. The place is easya Church setting in which accurate information may be taught in programs such as Primary, Sunday School, and Seminary. The time or times of such sacred education needs a little more explanation. Before Elder Dallin H. Oaks was 8 years old, his father passed away from tuberculosis, leaving his mother, Stella H. Oaks, to care for three children on her own. There are thousands of fundamentalist Mormons throughout the Intermountain West who are a constant reminder of Mormonisms polygamist past. 12. Furthermore, the Church must accept that there will always be coat-tail relatives to remind its members of their past. 51. They interpret this lack of information as a species of lyingabout Joseph Smith, about other Church members polygamous past, or about the events which surrounded the cessation of Church-sanctioned plural marriage. Fortunately, most former spouses learn to cooperate for the benefit of their children. Sex with teenage wives.48. Hamani Stevens of the University of Oregon football team recounted how the usual misconception [Page 53]about Mormonism is that we all believe in polygamy.19 That mistaken perception is compounded and exploited by merchandizers like Wasatch Brewery in Park City that sells Polygamy Porter, a beer whose advertisement invokes a polygamy theme, asking Why have just one? Along with the beer, they sell polygamy-themed merchandise. On one hand, they were immensely proud of the sacrifices made by their pioneer ancestors, but as modern Americans and the very model of American family values, they were also uncomfortable with their heritage of socio-sexual experimentation. Elders Bednar, Cook + 3 Other Apostles Whose Family 27. I don't know if divorced men can be branch presidents though. Your link has been automatically embedded. 46. Tertullian, Hilary, Epiphanius, Jerome, &c. The authority of these later Fathers is of course of little account. The Polygamy Porter T-shirts are our best seller, the owner explained. As the discussion grew heated, one group member observed in a private e-mail to another, Most of those who did not agree with the reinterpretation of whether or not plural marriagewill be practiced in the Celestial Kingdomhave been hammered into submissive silence by louder voices and the powers that be.59 Near the end of the online discussion, one of the men answered a woman who adamantly expressed her belief that plural marriage would not be a requirement or even a possibility in the celestial kingdom. (Respondents could select more than one answer.). and continued to pray that one day his father would be baptized and his family would be sealed in the temple. Brigham Young might have done that, but Joseph Smith never would. I let the subject drop. It is human nature, explained one Mormon blogger, to choose aspects of our past that we feel define us. Others believe they were released because they were now a bad example, or because local church leaders didnt want a divorced person in that role. Counsel with your quorum president, bishop, or stake president and consider professional counseling, such as with LDS Family Services, if available. Details regarding this matter have been communicated to stake and mission presidents.". 37. LDS apostles These survey results provide an opportunity for personal reflection. Some men have said that nothing shook their testimonies like divorce. There should, then, be a better historical and doctrinal explanation of plural marriage in adult Gospel Doctrine classes. Even so, 12 other countries were represented, most from European countries.34, Over 47% of survey respondents heard about polygamy as a child while another 39% heard about it as teenagers, for a total of over 86% learning about plural marriage while in their childhood or youth. A man may remarry after the death of his wife and not be disqualified from these callings. The commencement and particularly the end of plural marriage [Page 69]were fitful and certainly painful for those involved. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. Nate Oman on Jeffs and Modern Mormonism, e-mail correspondence, August 25, 2011. And when he was 15 years old, Elder Cook experienced something that would draw from both lessons. I remember a fifth or sixth grade classmate who came to my central California elementary school and said, Youre a Mormon, right? I answered in the affirmative, and he then announced, My father says Mormons can have more than one wife. Web38.1. 58. Unfortunately, over time there have been a number of members of the Church who have been upset and offended about aspects of plural marriage, especially the so-called weird aspects. Church spokesman Don LeFevre had little comment on the letter. the husband of one wife phrase ok now i am confused can you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced does it matter if you remarried, has there been any of the twelve apostles that have been divorced or could you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced i want to make sure i am not misrepresenting the LDS position. Just as a civil marriage does not automatically translate into a temple sealing for a Mormon couple, a civil divorce does not unseal them. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can get divorced. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era"). Finding Wholeness and Happiness after Divorce. Interpretation 2 seems to be the strongest, primarily because Scripture allows for divorce in exceptional circumstances (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:1216). Those members of the church who are personally affected by the policy change and have questions are encouraged to talk to their local priesthood leaders," he said. No we didn't see President Hinckley remarry. Latter Day Saint practitioners of plural marriage Elder DallinH. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, There are many good Church members who have been divorced and reiterated that unless a divorced member has committed serious transgressions, he or she can become eligible for a temple recommend under the same worthiness standards that apply to other members.3, Some men say that although they would never want to go through such an experience again, they have learned from it. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints permits divorce, but the Church's focus on happy, sound, and even eternal families elevates marriage to a sacred covenant not to be lightly dissolved. Of divorce, LDS Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley said, There is now and again a legitimate cause for divorce. We as friends, neighbors, ward members, [ministerers], family, etc., should show Christs love. When marriages suffer from serious problems, separation almost always leads to either reconciliation with the hopes of the marriage surviving or to divorce. Alternately, Todd D. Compton, in an essay in the same volume, 184232, titled, Early Marriage in the New England and Northeastern States, and in Mormon Polygamy: What Was the Norm? argues that such age gaps between marriage partners were unusual, but because his analysis relies on New England marriage patterns rather than those of the frontier, I do not believe he has rebutted the perspective offered by Foster, Keller, and Smith. LDS I commuted between Provo and Salt Lake City and enjoyed visiting with other regular commuters, [Page 62]all of whom were active members of the Church. Upload or insert images from URL. By the end of these few decades, a number of members had doctrinally and physically separated themselves from the body of the Church because they continued to teach and practice plural marriage. Joseph Smiths marriages to teenagers have increasingly become a stumbling block to faithful members. This implies that population and marital status adjusted, Muslims are more likely to be divorced than Hindus, and Muslim women take up almost the entire burden of this difference. Given the lack of available information from official sources, it isnt surprising that members like this woman would believe Brigham Young was the prophet who introduced plural marriage. By An acquaintance of mine, married in the temple 25 years ago, four children and an active member in the LDS church was recently divorced for having an Comments ranged from the positive to the negative and for some people, the discovery of the Churchs polygamous past was devastating. In their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick (2005) estimated that the current lifetime divorce rate for returned-missionary men to be approximately 12% and for returned-missionary women around 16%. The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage Whether or not the particular suggestions in this essay are adopted, the goal of leaders and defenders of the Church should be to aim for a more knowledgeable membership who thereby exhibit less discomfort and embarrassment about the Churchs past relationship to plural marriage. It should be noted that while most of the sanctioned post-Manifesto plural marriages were performed outside of the United States, some were performed within U.S. borders. Divorced men are welcome in the Church in the same manner as married men. Later, Elder Cook would be called to serve as a counselor to his brother Joe, who was serving as the stake president at the time. Here is some of their best advice: You'll also like: 10 Things Latter-day Saint Singles Wish You Knew, You'll also like:6 Things Every Latter-day Saint with Divorced Parents Should Understand. a link to what.that shows all 12 are married to their spouse??? Beyond an overall dislike for plural marriage expressed by those who had negative views, there were several factors that seemed to particularly distress them. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. This essay looks at examples of members expression of discomfort over a polygamous heritage and concludes with suggestions of possible pathways to a more comfortable reconciliation. Why did he marry young teenagers, including 14-year-old Helen Mar Kimball, who had both parents and didnt want to be married?46. The Apostles that were Married In a message to divorced members, Dr. Swinton continues, If you have experienced divorce, don't beat yourself up or feel you are lesser in any way. Regular interaction with your children should remain a high priority, regardless of distance or remarriage. They said they had asked other Mormons about plural marriage and had been met with embarrassment, silence, and awkwardness.67 I was sorry for both them and the members who had not known how to gracefully react to honest curiosity. The next morning, Joe approached his father and bore his testimony, earning his father's support to serve a mission. The mother said she divorced her husband, who later re-married. 30. Most definitely not true. Anti-Mormon literature has portrayed Smith as sneaking around behind unsuspecting husbands backs and seducing willing women. pete22, Claire, e-mail correspondence, October 4, 2011. Its in the handbook. This non-Mormon perception of Latter-day Saints is more prevalent than many members of the Church realize. The new apostles could come from general authorities of the church, or from the church membership at large. let's clarify; A divorced and remarried man can be bishop. Together, they made the harrowing journey past Russian guards patrolling the border to West Germany until they were safely reunited with the rest of President Uchtdorf's family. Learn more at joshlockhart.blogspot.ca. Can a man who is divorced and/or remarried be an elder? 53. These and other negative claims against early Mormon polygamy have caused understandable mental and spiritual turmoil for members. LDS When he was 5 years old, Elder Baxter's mother and father divorced. In the Church, we value family relationships so much (rightly so) that many dont know how to deal with divorce because it seems incongruent with the foundation of the Church, which is the family. The top reason for a change in calling was relocation. !45 Another womans exit letter from the Church had a series of accusatory questions including, Why did Smith marry and have sex with 11 women who were married to other men at the same time, some of whom he sent away on missions before marrying their wives? Because i personally know a man who divorced after a temple marriage, remarried (eventually in the temple), and later became a bishop. After her death, Elder Oaks's mother was remembered for her civic and Church service. We are indeed turning a corner finally.57. . 69. The survey on plural marriage was titled Your Feelings About Plural Marriage and was conducted at SurveyMonkey, located at https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GQZSTGR between September 16 and October 20, 2011. 33. Converts reactions varied, and for some the concept was difficult to accept. And, later, the priesthood/Relief Society lesson about Doctrine and Covenants section 132 discussed celestial marriage but did not mention plural marriage. . And modern Bible translations NIV, ESV, and CSB do not translate Malachi 2:16 as God saying I hate divorce. What percent of marriages end in divorce? That is a significant number. not true. And not just one isolated no. However, LDS members can only have one living, legal spouse while on earth. When a couple legally divorce, the temple marriage/sealing is effectively nullified, because the couple is no longer together and do not wish to be. Well, I replied, perhaps a little too sarcastically, we wouldnt want them to do that., [Page 58]No, she answered. After that, the practice again went underground and was once more surrounded by a veil of secrecy which made it even more difficult to completely stop.5, Unfortunately, the obfuscation which attended the beginning and end of the official practice of plural marriagenecessary though it wasprovided ammunition for anti-Mormons and anxiety for modern Church members. Valerie Hudson, A Reconciliation of Polygamy, presentation at the 2011 FAIR Conference, notes in possession of author. When Elder Oaks was about 11 years old, he took a small job sweeping the floor of a radio repair shop, eventually working his way to radio engineer and announcer in his late teens. There were approximately 400 people who participated in the survey with an almost even mix of men and women.32, In spite of the limited number of respondents, there actually was a good variety of people from different ages and backgrounds in terms of marriage status and activity in the LDS Church. Some members of the LDS Church have expressed shock and puzzlement that early Church leaders such as Joseph Smith and Brigham Young would lie about plural marriages before the public announcement of the doctrine and practice. Another active Latter-day Saint responded: Are you suggesting that what is making you pleased is the denial of relationships in the Celestial Kingdom? . To [Page 65]be fair, in the RS lesson this declaration evoked criticism and debate of a kind not often seen in RS.51. 62. LDS That healing power and that hope are there for them and also for their children.. The shows first season was set in Utah Valley until the Utah County police began to investigate the family. Elder Cook also served a mission from 1960 to 1962, serving in the British Mission with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland as one of his companions. My goal now is to do all I can to remain faithful to Christ, build a strong new marriage, and be as good a model to my children and stepchildren as I can.. 1. At the age of 11, President Uchtdorf watched as his family split up, each taking separate routes to Frankfurt until only he and his mother remained.
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