non religious alternative to thoughts and prayers

Im a firm believer in the Written Word in my Bible. When we say to a person,. It is okay to let someone know that you empathize with their pain, and yet dont have the words to express this sadness. They are both items that they will see often and it lets them know that I remembered their pain and they remember I care. . And even those that arent can easily be made non-religious by switching a few words around. I understand some of these, however Ive lost both parents two brothers. 3. Accept, What You Can Say Instead of Sending Thoughts and Prayers, What You Can Do Instead of Sending Thoughts and Prayers, Whether youre commenting on a social media post, comforting someone in person, or want to say or do something meaningful, there are many different ways to let someone know you are. noun Definition of prayer 1 as in petition an address to God or a deity he always directed a bedside prayer to God before going to sleep Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance petition request collect thanksgiving orison pleading invocation grace supplication begging suit litany vespers appeal entreaty matins soliciting evensong requiescat beseeching If it were possible, there were a hundred people who wouldve gladly taken her place. Being in someones thought and prayers never helped me at all. I can vouch for thatI lost my hubby in a car accident and when I shared it in person with one of his best friends, he saidIm so worried, did he declare Jesus Christ his Lord and savior? Christians generally value thoughts and prayers, the study found, but "this value is not universal," said Linda Thunstrm, an economist at the University of Wyoming."There are other people . AwakenThe World Through Enlightened Media, by Sarah Kessler: You dont have to be religious to express your thoughts and well wishes with a prayer. people mean only kindness but feel like they need to say something to fill the awkwardness but please know they are hurting beyond words. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. Its a lovely sentiment that may well be true. When I am gone, release me, let me go. Below are some non-religious poems and prayers that can help you say, "Thank you," whether it's to the universe, a higher power, or to someone you love. -or clean it. And see a stronger person through your reflection Unfortunately, during that time, I cant say I remember much. This will always be a hard day for your friend to live through even though, if they were a believer, it is their first birthday in heaven with Jesus. When it happens, I acknowledge they're wishing me wellor maybe they're trying to justify their own delusions and validate their mythology by converting me. Thank you for so many alternate things to say especially under certain circumstances, and depending on relationships; friends, relatives, co workers, etc. I hope this man in his pain will come to know Gods forgiveness and peace. But Mother Superior or not, I still want to punch the female. Thanks be to GOD my daughter I is making it this far. Help fellow humanists remove trash along I-35W. Sad is sad is sad and kind is kind is kind. invocation. I was overwhelmed by the compassion that was extended to me and the help they gave at a time that I was crippled by emotion. Do not stand at my grave and weep, As a non-Christian I would be confused if ,someone close to me, would mention their heavenly father and prayers to him for my sake. Maybe one more avenue to help those who are suffering and broken-hearted. We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal It is the malicious and judgmental part of religion l won't tolerate. NOT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I am more in control of my emotional react8ons than I was those years ago. of the patients' have non-specific complaints (12/30). I was a Daddys Girl always. Like a hidden oasis They might need the time and privacy to just be alone and cry. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. - Kris Sep 5, 2014 at 6:08 Show 6 more comments 5 Answers Sorted by: 6 Probably your best word is hope: I know many broken people who only want to die to be with their loved ones again. I agree with you. It is viewed as an excuse for action. When someone is hurting, sick, or struggling, we can stand in the gap for them. There should be no confusion when someone is simply reaching out to you in your time of grief. Many things occur that dont make sense, we live in a broken world. Love does not die. Gina, My family also had a year like this. Her passion is to help others deal with grief and provide assistance with talking to those grieving. Updated on August 10, 2018 Many religious theists, especially Christians, will ask for people's prayers and express hopes for a miracle when they experience significant problems in their lives (such as illness and injury, for example). Playboy Interview: Anthony (Tony) Robbins, Awaken Interviews Anthony (Tony) Robbins Pt 1 - Step More Into Your Heart, Awaken Interviews Anthony (Tony) Robbins Pt 3 - The Awakened Masculine And Feminine, Levels Of Consciousness - David R. Hawkins, Awaken Interviews Byron Katie - Everything Separate Vanishes In The Light Of Awareness. I asked everyone close to me to not mention my child on social media. Im so sorry youre going through this but I know how strong you are. I am a Christian and would not feel disrespected because you sent me your condolences without mentioning my heavenly father. forms. Only how sorry you are. But what you say also has a huge impact on your actions after you say it. I feel so alone in the evenings. It will let them know that you are there for them and in it with them. There has been many times when Ive said those exact words youre in my thoughts and prayers and then afterwards, realizing Ive truly over used it. The Bible tells us to act from the heart and be a blessing because its in our hearts and not because we expect something in return. Below are some non-religious poems and prayers that can help you say, Thank you, whether its to the universe, a higher power, or to someone you love. . It can help them feel less alone, and they will know you care for them and that they can ask you for help if they need it. I had tears of sorrow for every stillbirth. The Lord just came after my husband 2 weeks ago. Life is filled with many thanks, If you know someone with cancer or who has recently been diagnosed then these alternatives to youre in my thoughts and prayers should help you to show youre thinking of them during such a difficult time. Accept my sincere condolences. You are kind beyond belief; Im sure the person grieving is not taking pts off for misspelled words. It is important to do more than say you will be there for someone. April 6, 2021. As the parent of a child who died simply being there and saying Im sorry goes a long way. All the best Nellisa. Find out what to do and discover resources to help you cope. What You Can Say Instead of Sending 'Thoughts and Prayers' When sending condolences to someone who is grieving, you'll want to make sure your message is appropriate, sensitive, kind, and caring. It's honest, because I may not think to continue praying for that situation regularly and how often do people say "in my thoughts and prayers" but never actually pray for it? This link will open in a new window. May they never be disassociated from the supreme happiness which is without suffering. I want no rites in a gloom filled room At least prayer is an ACTION! I think its just best to say what is in your heart and try to comfort that person as much as you can or are comfortable doing. If you are very close to the family and know its okay dont ask, just clean! This link will open in a new window. This is a very personal one. Loss is hard. The "thoughts and prayers" verbiage became part of our cultural lexicon because people wanted a way to request help and/or care from a mixed audience of religious and non-religious listeners. I finally had to say please stop, Im not like you I need time to process and accept. But many of the nonreligious will also include a moment of thanks, as "secular grace" grows in popularity among atheists, humanists, agnostics, freethinkers and other so-called "nones." As a mother who lost 2 children I believe your in my thoughts and prayers is the most appropriate response. It really helps to be able talk and listen to people with similar experiences of loss and you can learn many coping strategies. No, there was no good reason. I especially liked the fact they took in consideration, the specific relationships between, say me and the person who had passed, I.e. I really appreciate these thoughtful, meaningful expressions. I would wonder why that friend would say that, knowing who I am, and on that ocassion?!!! If it feels right to you, or you think your loved one would appreciate it, you can use Gods Speed in a simple message like the one below. At 37, I lost my 11 year old daughter and my marriage fell apart. When I see "my thoughts and prayers are with you" in the wake of a death or tragedy, it makes me gnash my teeth because I think it's just something people say, even when they're not thinking/praying. Learn more about Sally. Saying youll say a prayer (and then doing it) is so helpful because it implies that something/someone more powerful than us has been called to help! It can be a sad and lonely day. There is one place where there is a typo. Words may fail me but you can guarantee Ill be there for you. Letting them know you are here for them and thinking of them is simple and can go a long way. Oh, Meredith, I am so sorry for your multiple losses! , or their community is surrounding them in their home after a loss, it can be hard to find time to clean up. Help show how humanists do good in our community! My friends I feel the same. I am so sorry that you have had so many losses especially the loss of your husband. I try do that also. I also appreciate where Gina is coming from. Any other word, esp., one without a religious connotation, cannot mean 'pray' as in the given context. The pain is unbearable. And rising from failure like a warrior of war As shown by Fig. The greatest of all losses. Instead, tell them what you are going to do for them, and then do it. Dollie Ennis 16 November 2021 Admittedly, even though I believe that "nothing fails like prayer" to actually get anything done, there are personal benefits to the very act of praying itself. This type of support is much more meaningful than simple condolences. Just my two cents. My heart goes out to Gina and all who have lost someone precious to their heart. Theres nothing anybody can say but theres a lot of things that people shouldnt say I had my oldest daughter and everybody would say well. Im so very sorry. HumanistsMN is participating in the nationwide Secular Week of Action from April 30 to May 9. May every cell in your body A friend s teen son passed away out of state. "My thoughts are with you & your family" is ok. Saying that you have no words validates what a difficult and painful process losing someone you love truly is. Even if you didnt know someone that well that has suffered a loss its still important to express your condolences. Here is a list of 25 other options that will let a grieving family know that you care and are thinking of them. Who have helped to bring it to our table, What a terrible tragedy. Our church offers the program Griefshare which is a Christian based support program. Letting someone know that you are there for them in this dark time is much more powerful than sending thoughts and prayers. If you dont know the grieving person very well, stick to something a bit more generic such as, I am so sad to hear about your loss. If you are very close with the person, then you likely know exactly what to say and do so that they feel loved and cared for. For me just a tight hug said it all. Find 3 ways to say NONRELIGIOUS, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. Fill a basket with candles, healthy snacks, bubble bath, lotions, and other goodies that they can use to practice some self-care and relaxation. This poem by Christine Evangelou might help inspire strength when your loved one needs it most. All of you on the air henceforth; Sometimes a neutral, understanding, listening ear, is what we need to help us to move on, and to assist in channeling our grief in a way that our loved one that passed, would want us to. All that we love deeply becomes part of us, Wishing you loving memories to warm your heart, today and always. Not that to me it can ever matter I know its not what everyone might want to hear, so know your audience, but pray for them either way!! Its hard and I understand your pain. Sally Collins is a writer and the founder and owner of Sympathy Message Ideas. May you return to being purely you. If you want to say it, try: "My thoughts are with you.". me and a coworker. I know my daughter is close by me. This prayer written by Joanna Fuchs doesnt mention a religious deity or ideology. In fact, there are many non-denominational and non-religious prayers that can help you say thanks or send healing intentions. "Sending good thoughts for you.". Getting pampered by professionals can be helpful in the healing process, and can be great for someone who needs a refresh during a rough patch. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. She is lost without him. They are not lost, we know where they are now. I have used, May the happier memories of your loved one help carry you through this difficult time., a painful but honest view from a person who has lost a loved one and gone through the living traumatic hell that follows is definitely not rambling. If you want to talk or someone to listen Im always here. Agreed. What I found unforgivable, still, is It is Gods Will GOD only knows this was Not a thing to tell a mother, who was watching her child breathe their last breath! Call, or send a noteall you have to say is that their child was special and that you miss him/her too and wanted to let her know. I have taken meals / pie to someone just to help out. What someone who is grieving might need most in the world is space. Say what? May s/he be safe and protected. One of the most important things you can do when someone you love is grieving is to just be there for them. Just as your beautiful gift of the heart, it will be the gesture from the heart that is held close. I have learned so much from this experience! Harm to minors, violence or threats, harassment or privacy invasion, I am so terribly sorry, There is nothing I can do to make this better, but Ill be by your side all the way, Be strong my friend, and know you have the support and love of so many around you, Lean on us for comfort in your time of need. An appropriate secular substitute for prayers is thoughts. Share it! Just empty words. We rely on members to let us know when posts contain content that violiate the, Your Reports Help Protect the Agnostic Community, Chat or rant, adult content, spam, insulting other members. I lost both my parents and my little brother by age 27. I cannot even imagine losing a child. A prayer or poem can also help youcomfort someone you lovewhen theyre feeling ill. Furthermore, while indifferent to receiving thoughts from other secular people, they negatively value thoughts from Christians. Like that one church shooting last year. I find out the dates of their lost loved ones birthday, anniversary, and send them cards on that day and at Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas the usual family Holidays, relating something I remember about them and also the first year anniversary of their death. I am sorry that was what they told you. This poem comes from the same anthology asTitan Frame(a book called Beating Hearts and Butterflies). There are many who will see what I am calling "prayer" as a ridiculous heresy. I needed emotional support during these timessomeone too meet for coffee or bring me a meal. I do not use past tense. Many people prefer non-faith-based rehab based on science, not faith. Letting them know you are here for them and thinking of them is simple and can go a long way. These messages will give you something else to say that isnt youre in my thoughts and prayers. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. advice. Anyone can pray, whether youre Christian, Hindu, or atheist. Grief is complicated, and no two people grieve in the same way. When there are no words that will do, offering an ear to listen can show the person you are there for them and be more than enough. May they remain in the boundless equanimity, free from both attachment to close ones and rejection of others. I agree. this then invokes a non-religious philosophical concept, but this does show that you don't have to stick to a short one-liner if you want to avoid religion. Below, well provide you with 15 short prayers that could be perfect for those occasions. That was comforting to me when my 25 year old daughter passed. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself online This will help them feel like they're not alone in their grief. I would be happy for a hug, kind words, a cooked meal delivered to my home and/or a thoughtful card/letter from anyone no matter your religious or non-religious beliefs. Sending thoughts and prayers can be a really nice choice for some, but sometimes the sentiment lands flat. Sometimes, just saying thank you, doesnt feel like enough. They may want to go soon after their loss as a distraction, or they may want to wait until their back to everyday life and use it as a reset. A traditional Tibetan Buddhist prayer,The Four Immeasurablesdoesnt mention any particular deity or religion. Yea that's thought provoking and profound. When I see "my thoughts and prayers are with you" in the wake of a death or tragedy, it makes me gnash my teeth because I think it's just something people say, even when they're not thinking/praying. I have found peace by abandoning faith in any god. benediction. Its best to not assume in delicate situations as this. Share a story with the grieving person that they may not have known. Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences in life. My house is not clean and I dont want you to come in. . Would be nice. I agree with Peggy, finding someone that can help you to navigate through your grief, and will be able to give you a consistent listening ear we may need. Wow I am truly sorry for all you have been through, I hope you find peace in your heart with so much tragedy. Get well soon. Now you can focus on leaving a legacy instead of a mess. It feels dismissive of the loss the parent feels. Some people are so consumed by church, and religion and that statement makes me sick also. They are likely dealing with funeral arrangements, caring for family members, and other life obligations. Agnostic.com is a non-profit community for atheists, agnostics, humanists, freethinkers, skeptics and others. Reply to Dan. Therefore, theres no perfect or exact right thing to say. Heres a list of several things you can say instead. But just thinking somethingno matter how charitable those thoughts may bedoes nothing. What do agnostics say instead of "Thoughts and Prayers"? Let them know that you are here whenever and for whatever they need. 3. I am a newborn nursery nurse for 29 years, experienced several stillbirths. Its easy to write a post but we often forget the heartache a family member or friend is going through from the loss of a loved one. As far as social media. He had dementia and was Lost to us before he was even gone. A: Any variation on "I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I'm here for you if you need anything" or "Call me if you need to talk" should work. Visit often. Meredith, your suggestions are exactly what my household does when someone we know has lost a loved one. Praying is just a way to do nothing and still feel good about yourself. The Hospice team that took care of my father in the end, provides this service. I cannot imagine the depth of your pain. Its uplifting message offers a way to celebrate your loved ones life as a final goodbye. orison. Unlike Trump's kids he is employable without his Daddy. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling, not just from the loss of so many important people in your life, but also from the ignorance of those around you. This will give them some alone time while enjoying a nourishing meal. This link will open in a new window. Im not really sure what the right thing to say is but please know how much I care. We need to love our neighbor as our self this is what I am learning.. What could you possibly say to console a parent of unimaginable pain, When I lost my 26 year old daughter to a brain aneurysm, the nicest thing was people sharing their favorite memories and photos of her. I think and reflect and process and grieve alone. My thoughts are with you, which would be true. The backlash against "thoughts and prayers" has been met with its own backlash. to be lost in the blue of the sky. In my belief system God is the alpha and omega and doesnt need more angels. Many religions say a short prayer before a meal, in which a blessing is asked and thanks are given. Know that we are trying to understand your loss and we are here is you want to talk about your loved one. Its been 4 yrs, if I cant find an article of clothing or a pc of jewelry I can finally joke to my other children that my daughter is still borrowing my things without asking. Sometimes that means using common phrases but when I can Ive tried to say something different and more personal. Im an ER doctor. Prayer is certainly religious by nature but is not closed off to those who wish to seek help from something greater than them, whether they believe it to exist or not. When my husband died, for some reason I really hated it when someone said Im so sorry or sorry in any way. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service I want to be left alone. I am thankful for thoughts and prayers. Who or what post are you commenting on? We will be there, Family will surround you with love and support, I was utterly devastated to learn of your loss, I know how much youre hurting and I want to be there to help, You wont be alone to get through this. These alternative messages will help you when attending a funeral or just talking to an acquaintance who is mourning a death. Writing for The Atlantic, Emma Green argues that the criticism of "thoughts and prayers" unfairly associates religious responses to mass shootings with conservative politics. If you are very close to the family and know its okay dont ask, just clean! Sympathy Message Ideas is here to help you with finding the right words for those grieving. The person receiving your words will appreciate you taking the time and effort to find something more than just youll be in my thoughts and prayers, and may even take greater comfort from them. I have lost count of the number of times Ive been told that they were there for me to listen or whatever. Pray does not only have a religious connotation: (from M-W) to hope or wish very much for something to happen to seriously ask (someone) to do something but if you prefer a different expression; give your emotional support to (Country name), may fit the context. So if youre looking for an alternative to youre in my thoughts and prayers then keep reading as the examples below should help you to offer your condolences with more heartfelt words. His parents had been away from home for months while their children stayed home with grandparents. Following through months and even years afterward does so much more. My 24 year old daughter found out she had brain cancer while she was pregnant with her first child. If it is the loss of a loved one you give condolences and offer them your help in coping. I felt like I was going to scream if another person said Im sorry, etc. Gina, I agree that it does have a huge impact on how people behave after such statements. And a actual, paper card in the mail.they still have those. But be thankful we had so many good years. 4. You have yourself a unique non-religious prayer to use however youd like. Many families specify a charity. We will get through this together and Ill be by your side. No, just no. For those that aren't religious and do not pray, according to Ladd, the first half of "thoughts and prayers" offers a secularized alternativemuch like "happy holidays" is to "merry . A homemade meal is the perfect way to let someone know that youre there for them while providing some comfort. Give your friend who is grieving a gift certificate to a nearby spa. Now I have lost you, I must scatter Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button. Wierd I know, but in talking to other people who have lost someone close, theyve said the same thing. I have used it myself many times when expressing my condolences. Gina I am with you, were on same page. Saying something like, theyre in a better place now or everything happens for a reason can feel very hurtful to someone who is grieving. We cant understand why God would allow this to happen so we may never find a reason. After the passing of our son there were so very many friends of his that we barely knew but when they shared moments of their times with him from camping to playing music or volunteering to help someone it did lighten my spirit. Your family will be in my thoughts. Thank you. So, if you have experienced a death (or more than one) that you need more than the average consolation to navigate, you will probably need something other than or in addition to griefshare. Sorry I changed the subject (:>, It's a right wing nut who thinks he's funny. This link will open in a new window. Share. Knowing the right thing to say to someone who is grieving can feel uncomfortable and challenging. I lost a child. Or you might be non-religious yourself, but still want to express your gratitude, condolences, or get-well-soon wishes with a prayer. It can be difficult to find the right words for a friend who has lost someone close to them. form. Most of the time I ask what I can do to help. " As a single mother who lost a child, you are so correct. Mark your calendar 3 months. We have a post-loss checklistthat will help you ensure that your loved one's family, estate, and other affairs are taken care of. Mother Mary help this lady heal and go on. Tenaciously healing to fight once more. Thats about the time everyone else has moved on but that mama still has a huge gaping hole in her heart compounded by thoughts that everyone else has forgotten, and confused by thoughts that others wish you would move on. It can help them feel like there's some positivity stemming from their dark time. In addition, I also dont appreciate the comment RIP on social media. If God in all His greatness would choose to come to earth to die for me, then maybe I can choose to trust Him for the rest, even when it is hard. Thoughts and prayers didn't exactly help there, did it?? I have found comfort knowing that for me Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. If you are close to the person who is grieving, offer a hug or hold their hand while they cry. The third (3rd) chapter of the Book of Ecclesiastes talks about tree is a reason for all things. Similar to expressing how much you will miss the deceased, you are letting their family know how much they really meant to you. You might not know who (or what) youre praying to, exactly, and thats OK too. A simple act of kindness goes much further than just the lip service. Let them know that they can call you day or night to chat. Until then, use it all to propel you forward. So where is something for the loss of a child. communion. And its my belief I was meant to read this post. Any genuine expression of sympathy, love, and care will go a long way. They are called bereavement counselors. I am a devout Christian and I think the most offensive thing Ive been told is shes in a better place because God needed another angel. A good cry in a yummy-smelling bath is wonderful for the soul. Sending you gentle healing hugs, Peggy. One day, you will heal Post-planning tip:If you are the executor for a deceased loved one, it's tough to handle both the emotional and technical aspects of their unfinished business. In fact, it might be exactly what they need. If you have a memory of that child that brought you joy, mention it. It would be so kind for friends to call and to just ay hello. Religion & Spirituality WE NEED AN ATHEIST EQUIVALENT TO THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS - After the Parkland shooting, conservative hypocrisy rendered the phrase "our thoughts and prayers are with you." to be meaningless but they're still going to use it for every terrible thing that happens regardless. I shall have no sorrow to die. Sometimes Ive found it to be appropriate and other times Ive wanted something else.

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